You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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