Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
high people should be assigned attendants
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
