Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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