dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You ruined the universe
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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