I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i dont even know how to be here
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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