I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
