Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
