Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
