id be glad to
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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