I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
