We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
