You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
