He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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