Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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