By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
