Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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