Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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