I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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