sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Dear god my vagina.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize