She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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