i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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