that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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