Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
