What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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