the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
