you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
