Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
