You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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