pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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