My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
