found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
