Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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