some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize