I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
sex in a hospital.. check
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
