he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We left the knife in your bed.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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