your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
