So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my sisters under your porch take her home
Girls should come with a carfax report
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The power of my boobs compel you
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
