You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
