How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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