Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
