Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
