don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
