sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
