Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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