windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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