so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
