wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
