Duck Duck Cougar?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
