You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think your dad took our porno
Randomize
