i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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