i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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