I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Boobs are out for the taking
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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