She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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