? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
When are your genitals available?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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