I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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