Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize
