but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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