No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
