Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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