i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize