Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
